So, I started reading "The Shack", by Paul Young, this week. This will be my second time to read this book. Probably one of the best books I've read in a long time. I originally read it back in the fall of '08....a time of rebirth of sorts for me. It was because of this book that I was able to come to a place of forgiveness for my father.
I realize that not all of the places in my heart that were wounded by my father have completely healed and that there are still areas that I need to forgive him. But I can only deal with those wounds as they come up and continue to live life out of the grace and mercy of my Heavenly Father. I say grace and mercy because that is what I require to function as a father and husband to my family. Everyday, there are times that I operate out of old wounds and hurts of my childhood, but because of God the Fathers grace and mercy for me and His tremendous love for me......I succeed! Because of what He has done in me, my children will have a clearer picture of who God the Father is and His character. And that is something that I missed out on growing up.
I've felt this for years, ever since my parents got divorced, but have only recently fully realized it, and its that there is a vast chasm that separates me from my mother and sisters. This holds true especially in my relationship with my mom. Ever since my parents got divorced in 2000 its been hard for me to carry on any meaningful conversations with either my mom or dad; to look them in the eye when we talk.....there is a lot of hurt associated with those two. Not just for me but for my sisters as well.
Anyhow, I think that's why I picked up "The Shack" again. I'm back in a place now that I know there are hurts and wounds that the Father wants to heal and this book really facilitated that process for me nearly two years ago.
I remember about a year-and-a-half ago asking God to unpack and sort through all the "boxes" that I've stored up in my heart. These "boxes" were brimming with all the hurts, disappointments, wounds, etc., of my childhood, and they were draining the life from me. And because I didn't know how to process these things, to deal with them properly, I packed them away into the deepness of my heart where no one could see them. You would be surprised the kind of junk that surfaces from ones heart when, first you get married, and then have kids.
So, here I am nearly two years later and God my Heavenly Father has healed a lot of hurts and wounds in my life. He got me healed up enough to really trust Him, to lean on Him, to depend on Him, to know Him as Father, and know that He is always good! By saying, "healed up enough", I am not implying that God can't completely heal someone all at once, but rather that this is the way the He has chosen to heal me. And that's what I want, to be complete in the healing process; to not be another "walking wounded". It just goes back to what kind of heritage do I want to leave my children? God is good and always faithful!
I realize that not all of the places in my heart that were wounded by my father have completely healed and that there are still areas that I need to forgive him. But I can only deal with those wounds as they come up and continue to live life out of the grace and mercy of my Heavenly Father. I say grace and mercy because that is what I require to function as a father and husband to my family. Everyday, there are times that I operate out of old wounds and hurts of my childhood, but because of God the Fathers grace and mercy for me and His tremendous love for me......I succeed! Because of what He has done in me, my children will have a clearer picture of who God the Father is and His character. And that is something that I missed out on growing up.
I've felt this for years, ever since my parents got divorced, but have only recently fully realized it, and its that there is a vast chasm that separates me from my mother and sisters. This holds true especially in my relationship with my mom. Ever since my parents got divorced in 2000 its been hard for me to carry on any meaningful conversations with either my mom or dad; to look them in the eye when we talk.....there is a lot of hurt associated with those two. Not just for me but for my sisters as well.
Anyhow, I think that's why I picked up "The Shack" again. I'm back in a place now that I know there are hurts and wounds that the Father wants to heal and this book really facilitated that process for me nearly two years ago.
I remember about a year-and-a-half ago asking God to unpack and sort through all the "boxes" that I've stored up in my heart. These "boxes" were brimming with all the hurts, disappointments, wounds, etc., of my childhood, and they were draining the life from me. And because I didn't know how to process these things, to deal with them properly, I packed them away into the deepness of my heart where no one could see them. You would be surprised the kind of junk that surfaces from ones heart when, first you get married, and then have kids.
So, here I am nearly two years later and God my Heavenly Father has healed a lot of hurts and wounds in my life. He got me healed up enough to really trust Him, to lean on Him, to depend on Him, to know Him as Father, and know that He is always good! By saying, "healed up enough", I am not implying that God can't completely heal someone all at once, but rather that this is the way the He has chosen to heal me. And that's what I want, to be complete in the healing process; to not be another "walking wounded". It just goes back to what kind of heritage do I want to leave my children? God is good and always faithful!
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